Oh Deer!

I was driving to a tutoring session along a local highway when I saw a deer jump out of the woods and right into my lane. I applied the brakes as hard as I could. Time did not slow down (When I got into my first car accident, time slowed down as I saw what was happening – Tachypsychia.) and the deer just barely makes it to the other side of the road without making contact with my car.

First reactions….

Oh my God… I almost hit a deer. Think of everything that would go wrong if I had hit the deer? My car would have been totaled. I would have missed mytutoring gig. My wife is away in another state and the boys are too young to pick me up along the side of the road. No family member lives within an hour of my house. I will have to get a rental car next weekend so that I can drive to Newport Rhode Island for my parent’s 50th anniversary. My hand was at 12 o’clock on the steering wheel. The airbags were going to deploy if I hit the deer and break my left arm. How am I going to drive four hours to Rhode Island with a broken arm? Poor deer…

All this, yet, I did not hit the deer. 

After a minute or two, I started to calm down and review my responses. First, I did not hit the deer. The doom that I envisioned earlier did not happen. At this moment I realized that I needed to get over it. This is not easy to do. Once you realize that you are in an elevated emotional state, you have to take action. I breathe deeply using a 4x2x4x2 (4 seconds in through the nose, 2 seconds hold, 4 seconds breathing out through the nose, 2 seconds hold) box breathing protocol to help me calm down. Realize the best thing to do is to realize that what is done is done. Move on. 

I realized that I was going to fast on the highway. If I had hit the deer, it would have been my fault. I also realized that my hand was in the wrong position on the steering wheel and my arm could have been broken when the airbags deployed. I also realized that I did not commend myself for what I did right. This was my biggest mistake and allowed my thoughts to run wild. I stayed in my lane, I applied the brakes in a decisive fashion (no one was behind me – I always check my mirrors), and I missed the deer. 

I realized after this near-miss that I needed to work on my first reactions to challenging situations. I never know when they are going to happen. I just know that I need to improve my emotional control, especially in the moments right after the event. The best way to work on this is to review one’s actions and make changes where needed.

Every day is an interview.