Get Rid of Laser Pointers

Please ban Laser Pointers from any and all presentations from this time forward. 

They drive me nuts.

Can anyone explain the reason for using laser pointers? Is it to blind the audience or cause them to enter an epileptic shock trying to find the bouncing dot like a dog chasing a… well yeah, a laser pointer? What is their point besides allowing the presenter to have their little mini lightsaber to spread fear in the eyes of the audience? 

The other day, I attended a presentation about current issues in education. The presenter used a laser pointer. The presenter effectively used the laser pointer to give me motion sickness while reviewing everything in her 3,000-word per-slide presentation.  She used the device as effectively as a drunken pirate steers a ship. After a few hours, I thought she was using the laser pointer to point to unimportant words in her slides. She went so far as to use the laser pointer to outline what she was reading from the presentation my bosses spent good money to send me to. While searching for the remains of my lunch that were robbed from me by the motion-sickness bandits, I realized this was a waste of my time, my bosses’ money, and the energy in the laser pointer she wielded like Jack the Ripper.

When I was a little kid learning how to read, we watched movies that asked us to follow the bouncing ball that bounced on top of words as they were read to the class. This bouncing ball was smoother than the presenter’s use of the dreaded laser pointer. No fear of being stabbed in the eye by a light beam stimulated by an emission of radiation.

Toward the end, the presentation got worse. When the presenter stopped to talk about a slide, she would face the audience with the laser pointer in her hand. She never remembered to turn the laser pointer off. We would duck as the laser pointer made its way around the room. The presenter’s hands were moving as if she was the Philhomarnic’s next conductor. When her tempo changed suddenly, and her hands took a sudden sharp turn, participants ducked behind each other, hoping the mass of the person next to them would allow them to see clearly when the event was over.

There is no need for laser pointers. Please join me in banning them for life.

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