Author: Kevscott1

Winners finish. I just got bib pins for my OCR races that say “I’d rather be last than not finish”. I always finish my races. Some results are great (for me), others… not so much. When you start a project (race, game, practice session, workout, diet, blog, etc), finish.

I tend to have too many projects going on at once. Instead of compartmentalizing the other projects that I have to do, I spend my time working on one project while I am thinking of all of the other projects that I have/want/need to complete. It is like multitasking in my mind while getting nothing done. I do not stay in the present and my results are not what they should be. This is not the type of habit that I want to embrace. 

When I focus on one task at a time and concentrate solely on that task until it is done, I have better results. 

Write a list of the things that you want to do tomorrow. Start the first task and solely focus on it until it is done. No matter what, do not go to the second task until you have completed the first task, no excuses. When you finish the first task, go onto the second task and focus solely on it. Keep repeating until you have ended your workday. See how much more productive you are and how the quality of your work has improved.

Never multitask if you want to produce the best results.

Every day is an interview.

I was at the beach a few weeks ago with my youngest son. We got there early and picked an unobstructed spot close to the prior day’s high tide line. We wanted to make sure that we were as close to the ocean as possible without having to move and that we could see each other and our stuff throughout the day. 30 minutes later, a loud and obnoxious family sat right in front of us. I could no longer clearly see my son in the water. I was then forced to listen to their club music, their whining son, and their loudly judgmental friend. In a short amount of time, I was getting angry and upset. 

What happened to me? I started to become them. Instead of maintaining who I want to be, a cool calm and collected individual who is secure in who he is, solving problems and strong enough not to judge others, I started judging the people who were blocking my view and did nothing to solve the problem. At one point, the judgmental friend was going on about how she had to tell one of her friends that they needed to step up and parent their children. As know-it-all was saying this, a lifeguard was in the water rescuing her child. Did she do anything when she saw this… No, she did not correct the kid and give him parameters for safe swimming nor did she thank the lifeguard for saving her son’s life. At this point, I could almost excuse myself for being so judgy.

Some would say that they ruined my day. They did not. If I wanted to, I could have moved our chairs so that I would have a better sightline on my son and away from their music.  I chose not to. The people who were in front of me did not influence my day. My mental reactions to them influenced my day. If I want to be the strong person that I talked about earlier, I cannot fall for this. Either move or ignore them. Judging them will not get you anywhere and ruin everyone’s day.

Every day is an Interview.

I am a life-long Oakland Raiders fan. They have been my favorite team since I was a child. I have watched them win and I have watched them lose. Each year, I am hopeful that the additions to the team will lead us to the playoffs and beyond. For the last few years, my hopes and dreams have led to nothing but disappointment.

This year we got Antonio Brown (and Richie Incognito). I nevr wanted him on the tema. If he was so good, why did the Steelers let him go and therefore, why do we want to hire their cast aways? (I know why Richie Incognito was let go but I do not know why we want to hire him either.) Early on, it seemed that things could be good. But, true to recent Raider’s form, disappointments started to emerge. There was the helmet issue, the frost-bite on his foot, missing practice, and the fight(s) with his General Manager. He was a distraction that was unwanted. At what point does his behavior detract from his ability to help the team win? I am not sure why we waited until he asked for his release to let him go. Make a statement and let him go (let R. I. go too) when he starts to veer away from your expectations of behavior. Learn to hire those people who align with the phrase “Commitment to Excellence”. This phrase used to be the Raider’s core value. With this phrase, you might be able to start saying your other mantra “Just Win Baby.”

Every day is an Interview… stop being afraid to lose by hiring people with bad team character. Getting Antonio Brown was nothing short of a desperate act by a team that is afraid to lose. Instead, aspire to win. Define the right character, hold everyone to that level or higher, and commit to being excellent every day in everything that you do. Go Raiders.

Persistence is a habit. Habits can be good and lead to life-changing growth. Habits can also be detrimental and lead to poor choices.

Do not let your view of persistence get in the way of those things that are truly important to you. Enjoy the Labor Day holiday. Plan your habits so you can accomplish your goals before the next holiday or scheduled day off. This is essential to becoming the authentic person you envision.

Happy Labor Day!

What are you being persistent about today? What change are you going to make?

There is nothing more that I despise than dishonesty. I find dishonest people to be weak and unable to accept their reality. 

I was recently Bait and Switched by AT&T and I am not happy. Because of the Bait & Switch, I have to pay an extra $200 on my first bill. When I pointed out AT&T’s error and I was told that there was nothing they could (would) do about the first bill, but they would make the corrections to my subsequent bills. I was then told that they would give me a discount on my future bills. Even with the disctount, it will take 13 bills to regain my money and more to regain the interest (I guess that I am lucky that the fed lowered rates). The first lesson I learned was to ask the salesperson directly what I would be charged on the first bill. The second lesson, never complete business using a company’s chat line. When I went to the local AT& T store, they were able to find our issues and correct our technical issues. I should have gone to them in the first place.

Backstory

My youngest son had recently lost his phone and we could not find it anywhere. My wife and oldest son had a different carrier that they were fed up with and they were ready to switch. One day, I was looking at my AT&T account to find out what it would cost to upgrade all of our phones and to add my wife and oldest son to my account. After 90 minutes on-line with the representative using the AT&T chatline, all four of us were on AT&T’s unlimited plan and our new phones were being shipped to the house. The first clue that something was wrong was when all four phones arrived separately. That seemed strange and economically stupid. The second clue was that the phones did not activate as promised. Luckily, a new AT&T store had just opened up nearby. We took the phones there and they took care of everything. The third clue that something was wrong was that my wife and oldest son started getting messages that they were running out of data. This was weird since we had signed up for an unlimited family plan. Then I got the bill. This was not what I was promised and I had a copy of the chat’s transcript to prove that I was right. I was livid.

I went to the nearby AT&T store, but could not wait on line to be helped as I had a pressing engagement. Five minutes after I left, I got a call from the store, the manager saw that my wife and oldest son had been signed up for the wrong accounts. He made the appropriate changes to my AT&T account and informed me that all I had to do was call customer help for a refund. 

I called customer help. There was no refund and nothing that they could/would do. I asked to speak to a manager. I was “surprised” to hear that the representative does not have a supervisor or manager. In other words, I was getting nowhere. If someone has a complaint with how I handled an issue at work, I direct them to my direct supervisor. I cannot believe that, one, I was not allowed to get my money back when AT&T made the mistake and I had the transcript to prove it and that two, the agent that I was talking to would not let me go to the next rung of leadership to deal with the issue.

I am still out $200 and no one “wants” to help me. Is AT&T that desperate that they have to Bait and Switch its customers to make money? Any advice would be appreciated. 

As a precaution, I went to the local AT&T store that had been so helpful and solved my issues. I had them look into my future bills to make sure that there were no more surprises. Fingers crossed.

Spend time with others because one day they will not be there.

I do not know if anyone said this before, but I am contemplating it heavily today. Yesterday, my in-laws came up for the day and we had a great time. My father is coming up today and I am looking forward to spending time with him after work. As I am getting older, I realize that I need to spend more time with my loved ones. One day, they will not be here anymore.

This hits home as my parents and in-laws are getting older and, unfortunately, weaker. Both my father and my father-in-law have knee issues. Watching them walk up the stairs is cringe-worthy.  This also hits home as we lost a colleague this past academic year. It was a sudden shock and I wish I spent more time with her, especially at the end. A few others that I am close to at work have medical issues that require focused attention. I do not want to ever regret the time I could have spent with them.

I wish that my children would spend more time with their grandparents. They are good kids, they just have different interests. They would rather hang out with their peers than their parents and their grandparents. Even though it bothers me, I realize that I was the same way when I was their age. It is a normal stage the children go through when they are in their teens.

Spend time with those around you. You can always get that something on your list done later. Once your loved ones are gone, they are gone forever.

I was one of the many student-athletes who tried out for soccer during my freshman year of high school. Little did I know that there was going to be a huge change between 8th-grade and high school soccer. I was so nonchalant about soccer that I did not decide until the night before tryouts to play soccer and not run cross-country. If I had picked cross-country, I never would have had the coaching experiences in soccer that made me who I am today.

On the last day of tryouts, the core of the team was already selected. I was not part of the core. I had the feeling that I had to do something to step up and separate myself from everyone else if I was going to have a chance to make the team. It was too late to get faster or stronger, so I concentrated on being the best communicator on the field. As the goalkeeper (true for any position), I need to be in constant contact with everyone on the field. I made sure that everyone on the field knew what was going on and that the coaches could hear me. I was too young to realize it at the time, but I was being the leader and communicator that day that I still strive to be today.

   I was one of the last people chosen for the team. 4 years later, we were crowned the Parochial State Co-Championships (no penalty kicks in HS championships at the time). It was an amazing experience that never would have happened if I did not speak up (literally) in August of my freshman year. It is amazing how we act when we really want something and we realize that might not get it.

Know who you want to be. Work diligently to be that person. Think outside the box. Never forget to be an excellent communicator

Every day is an Interview.

I was driving to a tutoring session along a local highway when I saw a deer jump out of the woods and right into my lane. I applied the brakes as hard as I could. Time did not slow down (When I got into my first car accident, time slowed down as I saw what was happening – Tachypsychia.) and the deer just barely makes it to the other side of the road without making contact with my car.

First reactions….

Oh my God… I almost hit a deer. Think of everything that would go wrong if I had hit the deer? My car would have been totaled. I would have missed mytutoring gig. My wife is away in another state and the boys are too young to pick me up along the side of the road. No family member lives within an hour of my house. I will have to get a rental car next weekend so that I can drive to Newport Rhode Island for my parent’s 50th anniversary. My hand was at 12 o’clock on the steering wheel. The airbags were going to deploy if I hit the deer and break my left arm. How am I going to drive four hours to Rhode Island with a broken arm? Poor deer…

All this, yet, I did not hit the deer. 

After a minute or two, I started to calm down and review my responses. First, I did not hit the deer. The doom that I envisioned earlier did not happen. At this moment I realized that I needed to get over it. This is not easy to do. Once you realize that you are in an elevated emotional state, you have to take action. I breathe deeply using a 4x2x4x2 (4 seconds in through the nose, 2 seconds hold, 4 seconds breathing out through the nose, 2 seconds hold) box breathing protocol to help me calm down. Realize the best thing to do is to realize that what is done is done. Move on. 

I realized that I was going to fast on the highway. If I had hit the deer, it would have been my fault. I also realized that my hand was in the wrong position on the steering wheel and my arm could have been broken when the airbags deployed. I also realized that I did not commend myself for what I did right. This was my biggest mistake and allowed my thoughts to run wild. I stayed in my lane, I applied the brakes in a decisive fashion (no one was behind me – I always check my mirrors), and I missed the deer. 

I realized after this near-miss that I needed to work on my first reactions to challenging situations. I never know when they are going to happen. I just know that I need to improve my emotional control, especially in the moments right after the event. The best way to work on this is to review one’s actions and make changes where needed.

Every day is an interview.

Last night, around 10 pm, I received an email announcing that my son’s high school Lacrosse Banquet would be held in 23 days on May 30. Normally, I would be excited. This is my son’s first year on high school lacrosse, and since 4th grade, my wife and I have only missed four of his games due to work. On May 30, my wife is flying to Kentucky to work for the College Board as a Table Leader. On May 30, I am hosting an event at school for accepted students and graduating seniors from one of the programs that I run. My wife’s event was planned over a month ago. My event was planned over a year ago. At this point, neither event could be moved.

I was annoyed. How irresponsible is it to plan something that every athlete and parent should go to at the last minute. I wonder if the organizer knew the date and decided to communicate it at the last minute. After all, it was held at a banquet hall and not a cafeteria. I wonder if the organizer thought that I would drop everything, forgo my job, and clear my calendar to meet her scheduling desires. I was also saddened. I felt awful that my son would be at the event without either of his parents. And I was still angry which meant that I was not solving the problem

My feelings of emotion started to influence my thinking. Because of this, I was not solving the problem. Once I recognized the feeling of helplessness, and that I was not about to die, I realized that I had to solve the problem. I came up with three solutions, emailed my Dad, explained our situation, and invited him to go to the banquet with Aiden. He said yes. Both my wife and I were relieved. My Dad was excited because he never got invited to a banquet as a grandparent.

You need to recognize when the emotions are taking over and you are no longer thinking through the challenge. Hopefully, in the future, the people who run events for our children will realize that we need longer lead times to schedule our lives. Even more so, I hope that I will continue to recognize when I am losing focus on the challenge and just solve the problem.

Every day is an interview.

The 10th rule of Taekwondo at our Do-Jang is to finish what you started. If you decide to start something, make sure you are prepared to follow it through to the end, regardless of the challenges you may face. When you make the conscious decision to start something, you have made the conscious decision to finish it.

I hate when things start out well and end poorly. Watching the last 5 episodes of Game of Thrones makes me realize how important it is to finish what you start. R.R. Martin develops an amazing story that was turned into a hit HBO series. Unfortunately, he never finished the books and the last season of the show was as boring to me as the last season of Seinfeld or the final episode of Dexter. (Who drives a boat through a Hurricane only to become a truck driver at a loggers camp? That wasn’t brilliant, that was lazy) Both were brilliant shows until the end and I am disappointed as to how they went away. It is not always first impressions that count. An example of ending a series perfectly… Fleabag. If they are going to make a second season, please don’t ruin what you created.

In the end, the original brilliance and creativity of Game of Thrones that hooked so many of us were lost to the battle for more viewers. What is more important to the networks? A brilliant ending or maximizing the number of viewers.  In the case of Game of Thrones, I got to witness writers trying to develop characters as they were sitting around drinking before the final battles. If I wanted to see characters being developed while they are sitting at a bar drinking ale, I will watch reruns of Cheers.

What could have been the greatest series of all time was ruined because the true creative genius behind the show could not finish the job of writing the story. Instead, he let HBO and its stable of writers, producers, and directors provide us with a lackluster ending that did not align to the brilliance of the previous seasons. 

Don’t fall into the same trap and lose focus as to why you started something.

Follow Taekwondo Rule #10, finish what you started, but remember why you started that something and persevere to finish well.

Every day is an interview.