Author: Kevscott1

We all need role models in our lifes. When I was younger, it was my father. Luckily, he still is a role model for me today. My wife is also a role model, as are my children, my staff, and pretty much everyone that I am around. Sometimes, these role models are examples of what not to do. Everyone can be a role model if you just patiently watch and observe.

If you effectively observe people for an extended time, you will eventually develop the ideal version of you. This version of you is extremely important to who you want to become. Without it, you do not have a true vision for your future self. You must develop this image in your mind and then work on developing yourself into this version of you.

Have you mentally developed the ideal version of you? If not, do so right now. Use this mental image to guide your actions. Do this over and over again until you become the ideal version of you.

When you get to this point, do not stop developing the ideal version of you. Just like your software, you must keep updating your ideal version of yourself. Let’s be honest, at 49, the ideal version of me is a lot different than when I was 4, eating Mr. Salty pretzels on a bench with a fireman’s helmet on my head. It is different than the ideal version of myself when I was a teenager dreaming of becoming a rock & roll guitarist. It is different than the version of me in my 20s, my 30s, and most of my 40s. It is different than who I was last year. Keep evolving as a person and keep evolving the ideal version of yourself.

Every day is an Interview.

One of the first things that firemen learn about fires is that it takes three things to make a fire.  First, you need a fuel source – something like wood or paper that is capable of burning. Second, you need an ignition source – the spark that starts the fire.  Finally, you need an oxidizing agent – the most common is oxygen – which keeps the fire going. Together, these three things make up the fire triangle. Remove any one of them and the fire can’t sustain itself and will go out.

Yesterday, my wife took our youngest son to the orthopedist to have a checkup on his back. The results were good, but unfortunately, my wife had to wait over an hour to see the doctor. To us, he is a good doctor, in a good practice who is worth the inconvenience of a wait. The annoyance of waiting is a good time to work on one’s self-control. My wife was put to the test.

In the waiting room was another mother waiting for her child’s appointment. As my wife described her, she was a sprinting whiner. She not only whined about everything, but she also spoke so fast that it seemed like she was in a speed race. When my wife relayed the story to me, she could not even recall what the sprinting whiner was complaining about, nor did my wife care.

As we were talking about the “challenge” of keeping one’s composure when confronted by a sprinting whiner, my wife suggested the whiner’s triangle. On the right side is the whiner, on the left side is the sacrificial lamb (i.e. the president, taxes, teachers, the weather, the spouse, the kids, money, etc.), and on the bottom, laying the foundation are the people who are not only listening, they are contributing to the whining. It makes for an explosive situation.

I once worked in a place that had a group of whiners. They would hijack the breakroom, faculty room, hangout room, etc., and provide the gloomy overtones needed for a negative environment. I would walk out of these rooms feeling awful. Once I realized what was going on, I stopped occupying these spaces. They were too negative. The “shocker” is the whining never got these people anywhere. Whining is not a solution. Instead, it is what people do when they want to feel sorry for themselves, when they want others to feel sorry for themselves, and when they have given up on finding a solution to their problems.

In the fire triangle, it is easy to remove one of the sides of the triangle. You can deprive a fire of oxygen, you can remove its fuel source, and/or you can remove the heat. Remove any of the sides and the fire cannot exist. With regards to a whiner’s triangle, you can change your attitude and focus if you are the whiner, you can remove the sacrificial lamb, or you can remove yourself as a member of the audience. If you cannot remove yourself from the audience, as in my wife’s situation, you can focus on your attitude and use the strategies needed to keep you from succumbing to the whiner’s triangle.

You cannot prevent whiner’s from complaining, but you can remove yourself from the whiner’s triangle. Start working on recognizing when you are part of the whiner’s triangle and learn how to remove yourself from the situation. This will make you happier and stronger. Once you have confidence in your abilities, try teaching others how to do the same.

While implementing the Everyday is an Interview philosophy, no matter how hard we try, we are going to have days when we do not live up to our purpose, our thoughts, and our potential. Our actions will not be in alignment with our purpose and we will not perform at our optimal level. When these days happen, what do you do?

I talked previously about coaching advice that I had received from those who have mentored and guided me. Looking back, I wish I started my coaching career in my late 40s when I had a better understanding of my purpose and my philosophy and also had the resolve to stand up for both.

One of the impactful bits of advice that I received was when I was on the bench as an assistant coach for a Varsity Soccer game. We were playing well, yet we were tied with a team that we were much better then. For some reason, we were just not able to put the ball in the back of the net. One could feel the tension building as the game went on. Then, with time winding down, we let up a goal. It was a mixture of great play by the other team and a slight lack of focus by us. The game was not over but everyone on our team had their heads down. The next words out of the head coach’s mouth were brilliant. Calmly and coolly he said, “Just respond. Think about what you are going to do next… and do it.” He did not forget his purpose and he did not panic. Despite losing late in the game, his actions were aligned with his purpose – to help his team get better every day.

These words were more important to me and my career than the results of the game. It had a far more lasting result on my life who I have become. I used these same words with many of my teams and colleagues.

You are going to have moments when your purpose, actions, and thoughts are not aligned with each other. What do you do? You just respond by thinking about what you are going to do next. Dwelling on the past will lead you to feel sorry for yourself and that is not aligned to the Every Day is an Interview Philosophy.

The next time that you have a setback, tell yourself to respond and focus on what you are going to do next. Let me know how it goes.

While implementing the Everyday is an Interview philosophy, no matter how hard we try, we are going to have days when we do not live up to our purpose, our thoughts, and our potential. Our actions are not in alignment with our purpose. When these days happen, what do you do? How do you respond?

I talked previously about coaching advice that I had received from those who have mentored and guided me. Looking back, I wish I started my coaching career in my late 40s when I had a better understanding of my purpose and my philosophy and also had the resolve to stand up for both.

One of the impactful bits of advice that I received was when I was on the bench for a Varsity Girls Soccer game. We were playing very well, yet we were in a scoreless tie with a team that we were much better then. For some reason, we were just not able to put the ball in the back of the net. One could feel the tension building as the game went on. Then, with time winding down, we gave up a goal. It was a mixture of great play by the other team and a slight mistake by us. The game was not over and everyone on our team had their heads down. The next words out of the head coach’s mouth were brilliant. Calmly and coolly he said, “Hey ladies, just respond. Think about what you are going to do next… and do it.” He did not forget his purpose and he did not panic. Despite losing, his actions were aligned with his purpose, to help his team get better every day.

These words were more important to me and my career than the results of the game. It had a far more lasting result on my life who I have become. I used these words with many of my teams.

You are going to have moments when your purpose, actions, and thoughts are not aligned with each other. What do you do? You just respond by thinking about what you are going to do next. Dwelling on the past will lead you to feel sorry for yourself and that is not aligned to the Every Day is an Interview Philosophy.

I coached for over 17 years on the high school and club level. Though my main sports were boys’ and girls’ soccer and girls’ track and field, I also coached softball and basketball. In all, I coached for 33 seasons. As a coach, especially a young coach, I received a lot of advice that influenced my growth. However, the best advice I ever received still guides me to this day.

I was going into my fifth year as a coach when I started working for Coach S. He was the third head soccer coach I was working for in my short career. I had learned a lot in the previous 4 years, but I still had a long way to go before I was ready to run my own program. We had known each other for a few years, but we had never coached together. When I sat down with him to discuss what I thought were my strengths and weaknesses, he told me to just focus on getting better every day. This had to be my primary focus with everything that I did with regards to the athletes as individuals, the athletes as players, the team as a whole, and myself as the coach. He told me that if I focused on winning, the team would never reach its full potential. However, if I focused on getting better every day, our team had a chance to reach their potential and maybe even more. Best coaching/life/mentorship advice that I ever received.

Focus on getting better every day. Everything else is secondary.

Every day is an Interview

A Left Lane Larry is defined as that person who feels that it is their unalienable right to drive in the left lane regardless of their speed or the number of people driving behind them. If I remember correctly, and I do, the left lane is for passing only. Call me old, but if you are not driving faster than the surrounding traffic, then you should not be in the left lane.

The other morning, I was driving to work. It was later than usual as I had to drop off my son at school with his afterschool equipment. As an administrator, I have a little bit of flexibility with my time. This was one of the few times I needed to take advantage of it.  I was second in line at the traffic light to turn onto the local two-lane highway (2 lanes each way). The car in front of me was taking its time turning right, even though the light was green, and went right to the left lane (From now on, I will call him Left Lane Larry). Traffic in the right lane was slow, so I got myself into the left lane.  By the time both of us passed the slow traffic in the right lane, Left Lane Larry was driving less than the speed limit with no one in front of him. I flashed my beams and he did nothing. I went into the right lane and passed him. A few minutes later, there was slow traffic in the right lane so I switched to the left lane. There was Left Lane Larry right behind me flashing his high beams as if he was a firefighter going to a fire. I passed the slow traffic and got into the right lane. He did not pass me. A mile later, my exit came up. As I was about to take the right-lane exit, Larry cut me off from the left lane without a blinker, phone in his hand held up to his ear, and took the same exit. Now I was pissed. It is one thing to be a slow driver, it is another thing to be a dangerous driver.

Little did I know that Left Lane Larry happens to work at one of the schools that I serve as an administrator. I am confident that his supervisor handled his lateness. When he pulled into the parking lot, I could not believe that someone who guides children could be such a danger to others on the road. I feel sorry for his child(ren) who are forced to ride in the car with him. I will also make sure that I leave earlier in the morning so I do not have to worry about him sharing the road with me.

He failed the day’s interview.

I hate poor customer service. I really hate poor customer service disguised as an automated teller.  And I really really hate poor customer service when it involves a Christmas gift for a loved one.

For Christmas, we bought my 11-year son a PlayStation game from a 3rd-party vendor through Amazon. He really wanted the game and was very excited to receive the game on Christmas morning. He played it for a few nights until he accumulated enough points to make an in-game purchase. This turned into an epic fail. The add-ons that my son purchased would not interface with the game. After doing several Google and forum searches, we called PlayStation for customer support. After asking a few questions, it was determined that we had purchased a game that was a European-registered game and it would not allow in-game purchases in the United States (At some point, someone will have to explain the logistics). The PlayStation rep told us that we needed to return the game, what to ask for from the vendor, and to check the new disk when we received it. I contacted the vendor through Amazon, told them what we wanted in 200 characters or less (A US-registered version of the game with the correct codes that I provided for them), and used the automatically generated packing slip to return the game at the local UPS store.

My son waited anxiously for the replacement game to arrive. Two days later, it was delivered. When we opened the game, we checked the code on the disk and determined that it was another European-registered version of the game. Of course, when I tried to contact the company, there was no one that I could contact directly. There was no one I could explain the problem to. More importantly, there was no one I could explain the solution to. There was no one. There was only an automated system that could not comprehend my issue.

In the end, I had to return the replacement game and receive a refund. However, I was not reimbursed for my time, the packaging, or the travel to the UPS store. No one apologized to my son. No one took ownership. The quality of care was poor.

In the end, we got a US-registered version of the game at the local GameStop. The salesman was very professional and was able to get the exact version that we wanted. He even allowed us to open the disk and check for the US registration numbers. It was the correct version of the game and all was well.

My son learned a good set of lessons. First, do not give up when you do not get what you want. Second, do not get frustrated by poor customer service. Third, do not get frustrated by poor automated customer service. And finally, if you really want to get something, make sure that you clearly communicate what you want to someone who can deliver.

Everday is an Interview

Why do we dread the end of a vacation? For the longest time, I have been struggling with the fact that I did not treat the last few days of vacation as a day of vacation. I would dread the last few days of vacation. Why? Because I had to go back to school or go back to work. The ironic thing is that I enjoyed school and enjoy my job.

Last year, during my two longer vacations (5-7 days), I started to relate vacations to one’s life. At the beginning of the vacation, I am giddy and happy with no cares in the world. After a day or two, I get serious and make sure that I will accomplish everything I want to do over the break. Towards the end of the vacation, I am trying to put the brakes on time and make sure that the vacation does not end.

This year, during my winter vacation, I shifted gears and started to take a positive approach about the end of my vacation. In terms of relaxing and resetting myself, the vacation was great. I could have returned to work a day or two earlier feeling fully refreshed and ready to take on the world. I got all of my goals accomplished during the break. I read a few books, worked on my writing, took it easy, and spent time with my family. I stayed away from work emails, caught up on the Ozarks – Season 2, and worked out every day. But at the end of the vacation, I did not know how to feel.

How should one approach the last day of vacation?

Forget that it is your last day of vacation. Time should not be the focus. The fact that you are still on vacation should be the focus. Set new goals for the day and execute them. What I am not going to do is sit around and lament that I am at the end of my vacation. I am going to enjoy the day as if was any other vacation day.

I hope that this is the same way I am going to finish my days. Substitute life for vacation. If I found out that this was my last day on earth, would I lament that it was over or would I do everything I could to enjoy the day and accomplish goals?

I hope that I have a long life ahead of me. But I won’t take it for granted, I will live my life well, whether it is my first day, the middle of my life, or it’s my last day.

How are you going to live your last day of vacation?

How are you going to live your last day of life?

Every day is an Interview

New Year’s Resolutions… What a waste of time and effort. Especially when you consider that this year, January 12 was officially labeled as Quitters’ Day, a day dedicated to those people who already failed at their resolutions. How sad. With all of the hype, chest pounding, and resolute proclamations, it is stunning to me that so many people quit their New Year’s Resolution so quickly. Business models are built around people quitting their resolutions before they have completely met their financial obligations (i.e. gym membership). These businesses will continue to collect money from their “quitting members” only to entice them to sign up again next year. A tremendous amount is made about making resolutions and then quitting them. Nothing is made about helping those around you make a change. It is now the 50th day of the year (2/19). Did you make resolutions? Have you been faithful to the changes that you wanted to make? Have you helped anyone with their changes?”

I used to fall into this trap of failure and make resolutions each year. By the end of January, my resolutions were forgotten and I would be back to my old ways. Unfortunately, we did not have Quitter’s Day back then so I had nothing to celebrate. Eventually, I realized how foolish it was to wait until the start of a new year to change my ways. I learned that if I wanted to make a change, I needed to start right away.

Waiting to make a change is simply a form of procrastination. Common knowledge states that it takes 60+ days to change a habit. Yet, people cannot keep the commitment to their New Year’s Resolutions for 12 days. Procrastination, i.e. waiting until New Year’s Day, is partly responsible for this mass failure. If you want to make a change, start now.

In order to make a lasting change, you have to have to set a specific goal. Going to the gym is not a specific goal. Adding an inch to your arms in 6 months is a specific goal. It requires planning, the right workouts, the right diet, the right mindset, the right amount of dedication, and the right rest. It will not happen just by going to the gym and socializing for an hour at a time.  

If you want to make a change, recognize that a change needs to occur, create a specific goal, develop a plan, and start the journey. Mark 60 days out on your calendar. Never wait until New Year’s Day to begin… never. It is just a sure path to failure.

Example:

A few months ago, I was eager to start a new workout plan. I just finished going through a challenging plan, but I had plateaued. It was time to shake thing up. So I did my research and developed my plan. I finished the plan late on a Saturday Night. What should I do? Should I wait until Monday, when I traditionally start a new cycle?

My new workout plan starts on Sundays instead of Mondays. Since the plan was set and ready to go on a Sunday, why should I wait until Monday? Sunday used to be my rest day, now it is Fridays when I am the busiest with my children’s schedule. So far, this works for me.

If you are looking for something to do with the New Year, do not make a resolution, complete a challenge. I have two that I do/start every New Year’s Day. The first is to do the year in pushups. This year, I did 2019 push-ups on January 1. I started in the morning and did them on and off throughout the day, finishing around 7 pm at night. Second, I go sober for a month starting on January 1 (Dry January). It is a great reset for my body.

Never wait to make a change. Instead of joining the herd on January 1, celebrate you and complete a challenge. Help others when they are trying to make a change. Challenge yourself to get better every day… year

Every day is an Interview.

When it comes to my workouts, I do not believe in rest days. I work out every day. I lift on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I run on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I do Taekwondo on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. I work on my weaknesses, currently pull-ups, every day except Friday.

I do not believe in rest days. I play the guitar every day. I even hid a guitar at work for those days when I have to work so late that everyone in my house will be asleep when I get home. I learned the hard way not to practice the guitar when the family is asleep. I also write every day. I do not miss a day… ever.

This year, coming into the winter holidays, I realized that I needed to take a break from work. It had been an incredibly difficult year both mentally and emotionally. I was done. Two days before the holiday break, I started to wake up too early… on my own. Whenever I do not sleep in a regular pattern, I know that something is wrong. This was the sign I needed. Instead of going to work over the holiday break, I still have to report to work when teachers and students are on break, I took some vacation time. I needed to rest, relax, and recharge. I could not go continue to go forward without some time off.

10 years ago, I never would have taken this time off. I would not have admitted that I needed to take a break. I would have worked straight through my issues until I crashed and burned. I have gotten older and wiser since then. I recognize the value of rest and I have learned how to recognize when I need to get some.

When I take a break, I still do those things that are aligned with my goals. I still work out, I still write, and I still play guitar. But I will not work, I will not even think about work, and I will not check my emails. I will just rest:)

Do you take a break when you need it?

Every day is an Interview.