The Coaches

I enjoy watching my son play lacrosse. I make his games a priority when I am planning my week. One evening, as my son was warming up for his game, he was on the home team, I was watching the game that was still on the field. At one point, four of the athletes, two from each team, got into a fight. More pushing and shoving than a real brawl. Nonetheless, these middle school boys needed to be separated and order restored. The refs were the first ones there to settle things down and stop the altercation. The coach from the visiting team ran across the field and instructed his two “fighters” to get off the field. He then told them that they were done for the day. The home team’s coaches lumbered onto the field as they were clearly out of shape. By the time they got to the melee, the two players from the visiting team were already walking dejectedly to their bench and the refs had calmed things down, In addition to the four home team coaches, a mother of one of the home team players involved in the fight was on the field.

What happened next was disappointing. The home coaches yelled at the players on the other team to stay away from their players. They then yelled at the refs to stay away from their players. They then yelled at the referees as the referees told them that their two fighters, by rule, were also being excluded from the game. Not one of the home coaches stayed on the bench to make sure that none of their athletes on the bench ran onto the field. Not one of the home coaches acted with the same class that the visiting coach had when addressing the fight. What was a great teaching moment was lost on the home coach’s wrong mindset. I have higher expectations for our teams and our coaches. 

I kept watching the game, waiting for the final whistle so that my son’s team could start their game. There was one more incident that bothered me. One of the home coaches called timeout with less than one minute remaining. Not only were they up by 6 goals with time running out, he only did it to save possession while they were playing keep away from the other team. Even the home parents were upset. The move was unsportsmanlike. The only way it could have been a constructive move was if the coach wanted to teach, AKA coach, his athletes. However, there was nothing that I would want him teaching my son during that timeout.

      Every day is an interview.

Which Eff?

Throughout my adult life, I have always used checklists to assist my productivity. My checklists have given me focus, provided me with guidance, and helped me to reach some of my more important goals. I am known for getting a lot of things done and for doing so in a timely manner. For a time, I thought that my checklist was the most important tool in my arsenal. Then I realized I was addicted to my checklist. Maybe brainwashed is a better term. I was so focused (brainwashed that is) on my checklist, that I stopped getting things done with integrity, and instead, I just got things done. The focus was on the number of tasks completed vs. the quality of each completed task. I became someone that I did not want to be. I was trapped in the mindset of efficiency. I got to the point where my sole focus was crossing everything off my list. My measure of success was directly related to my ability to complete the checklist. I became efficient at getting things done and for a time, I thought this was good.

Eventually, I started to notice that my performance slipped. I was no longer being challenged and I was falling into my comfort zone. As usual, as soon as I felt comfortable, alarm bells started to go off in my head. I realized that instead of looking for a challenge I would stare at my list and try to figure out how I would get things done. I got so wrapped up in planning to get things done that I was no longer getting things done with the quality that was important to me and my job. I was successful, but I was not growing. I was completing tasks, but I was not happy. I was performing ok and my efficiency was allowing me to fly under the radar. I realized that I was not happy and I was not achieving my goals with integrity.

Realizing that I had the wrong mindset was the first step to correct my issue. Next, I used the following questions to determine which eff I was following, efficiency on effectiveness:

  1. Is success defined by your efficiency to get things done or the quality of your work?
    1. It can be both, but which one is more important?
    2. Are your actions aligned with your answer to Question #1?
  2. Are you focusing on the task-at-hand or the end-goal?
    1. Are you focusing on crossing the task off your list or are you focusing on completing the task with quality and integrity?
  3. What do you want to achieve?
    1. Quality work?
    2. Completed Checklists?
    3. Why do you want to achieve this?

My honest answer to these questions was vital to understanding the difference between being efficient and being effective. Once I had the questions answered, I was ready to take action, change my focus, and achieve effectiveness.

When you recognize that you are in the mindset of efficiency, ask the right questions, and rearrange your thoughts and priorities by completing things with integrity. (RQA – Recognize, Q&A, Act). Send me your thoughts and comments.

 

Everyday is an interview.

Answer the Question – Do Not Waste Our Time

Growing up, I cannot tell you how many times I was told by my parents and teachers that patience is a virtue. I still struggle with patience, but I work hard at it every day. As someone with a check-off list that guides his day, it is not easy to remain patient. However, when it comes to spending money, especially money at work, I am very careful to make sure that the money is spent well on items that will best affect student outcomes in a positive manner.

At a recent vendor presentation, the presenter was fielding questions from my purchasing review committee. The committee’s job was to select the product and thus the vendor that would best suit the needs of the district. The presenter was kind enough to allow the committee members to ask questions during his presentation. Not every presenter allows this, many ask the committee to hold their questions to the end. His patience impressed me.

However, as the presentation continued, I noticed that the presenter was not answering the teachers’ questions. Clearly, the presenter had an agenda and he was losing patience with the committee members. His good deed of allowing the teachers to ask questions led to a group of professionals who were frustrated because their questions were not answered. The presenter, instead of listening to the complete question, started to answer the questions before the members of the committee had a chance to finish the questions. In fact, he was answering the questions as he wanted them asked and he was directing the conversation to the items that he wanted to talk about.

I could tell that my committee was getting frustrated and they did not know what to do. They did not want to be rude, like the presenter, and kept trying to ask their question. I decided to step up and ask the questions that the committee members were trying to get answers to. When he tried to interrupt me, I politely told him that I needed to finish the question so that everyone in the room would understand the issue that we wanted to be addressed. You could see the frustration on his face, but I was steadfast and would not stop until the question was answered. I had a series of back up questions ready in case he did not answer my original question. I was not going to let him proceed with his presentation until he first answered my team’s questions. It was their time that he was wasting and I do not put up with that.

I was not rude, I did not start a fight, the presenter answered my questions in their entirety and my team got the information that they were looking for. I do not appreciate when anyone has their time wasted. If you want to pass the interview as a presenter, listen to the full question and answer it. If you want to pass the interview as the boss, stand up for your team. Do this in a polite manner at first. If you can change the presenter’s behavior and get the question answered, you pass the interview. If the presenter does not respond to your polite redirection, let him know that he is not addressing the question and that we require the answer before we will move forward. If the presenter does not answer your questions, feel free to assemble your team and leave the meeting. Remember who has the power. Up until this point, the presenter thought that he had the power. In the end, as the buyer, I wanted to make sure that everyone in the room knew that my team had the power. If they were not going to get the power, I was going to get it for them. Noone wastes my team’s time.

As for the interview, the presenter failed the interview. The goal of the presentation is to answer my committee’s questions so that they will consider your products. My team knows not to make a recommendation until they have all of the information that they desire. My team passed the interview for their patience with the presenter. They did not get rude with the presenter as this would have prevented them from getting any of the information that they needed. I need to provide them with the techniques needed to make sure that they get what they want from the presenter. Finally, I stood up for my team in a polite manner and I stopped someone from stealing their time away from them. Every day is an interview.

Data

I have been trained by some great teachers over the years who truly understand data and how to communicate with data sets. Just like my English teachers in high school, when you use someone else’s information, or in this case data, you must cite the source, or at a minimum, provide the listeners with a list of the sources that you borrowed.

The other day, I was in a meeting with a vendor and his presenter. The presenter went on and on about how great their product was and continually provided us with statistics to support his claims. At first, I missed it, but over the course of the presentation, I realized that not one of the data sets that he provided us had a citation. This automatically raised red flags for me.

The take away has nothing to do with me not buying from this vendor. The takeaway is that as the interviewer, it is important you look for the “BS” in the data. The first place to start is with the data source. Knowing the data source, and more importantly, who funds the data source, will allow you to have a better understanding of the data and what it is trying to represent. Knowing where the data came from allows you to research the data gathering techniques, the analytical techniques, and the reporting techniques. These techniques, used properly, can be utilized to misrepresent the data and provide statements that appear to be true to the unknowing observer. Only by gaining a deep understanding of the data can one make an informed decision.

When presented with data, remember that you are interviewing the presenter. If you really want to excel at what you do, if you really want to be as good as you can be, interview the data and interview the data source.

Every day is an interview, even for data.

Doing the Right Thing

Have you ever struggled to do the right thing? I have, numerous times, over and over. Why? Because I have not taken the time to properly define my purpose. Without a strong purpose, you will struggle to make the right decisions. You will struggle to perform actions that are aligned with who you want to be. If you do things right, people will notice. If you do things wrong, people will really notice.

One of the issues that I had in the past has been with my dedication to punctuality. My desire to be on time, which really meant early, prevented me from focusing on the most important goals. I would worry about getting to a meeting on time instead of concentrating on getting there safely, not just for me, but for those around me as well. I would be so focused on writing deadlines that I would not be there when others needed me. People took notice of my punctuality, including those who were closest to me… my wife and children. At the time, my why was so focused on being punctual that timeliness came before my family.

One day, while I was driving my oldest son to a lacrosse game, I realized that I was not driving safely. I was so obsessed with getting him to warm-ups on time that I was not paying attention to my driving habits. Luckily, he was asleep in the car. I then realized that we would get to the field when we got to the field, that everyone else on his team was making the same trip to the away game at the same time, and that no matter what happened, we needed to arrive at the game safely. This is when I started on my journey finding my true why. In the case of driving, especially with my family members in the car, my purpose, my number 1 goal, is to get there safely and on time. I drive safer now. I am not sure if other drivers have taken notice, but I am sure that my children have. They are excellent at noticing what I do, especially when it is wrong in their eyes.

Look at what you do. Is your purpose, as defined by your actions, aligned with your purpose, as defined by your thoughts?

Every day is an interview.

Stress

When you are stressed, when the challenges are extreme, how do you act? How do you handle things? Do you act with confidence? Do you act in a manner that is based on your values? Or do you get caught up in the situation and let the situation dictate your behavior? If you want to pass the interview, whether formal or informal,, act based on your values and not on the situation. In case you were not sure, people are watching and you are being interviewed.

When Hurricane Sandy hit, we were still living in our old house. It was a bi-level house that did not have a true basement. As the storm intensified, we went to the lower level. As I was setting up the mattresses for our boys, my wife wanted to make sure that I did not place the boys underneath anything heavy sitting on the floor above, such as the refrigerator. With no power, no heat, and crazy winds that had already knocked over a huge oak tree in the backyard (luckily it missed our neighbor’s house) our nerves were frayed and we did not do a good job of listening to what each of us was saying to each other. For whatever reason, we started arguing. She thought that I put the mattresses right under the refrigerator. I was not calm enough to show her that they were in a safe spot (… they were in a safe spot and the refrigerator never fell through the floor). I was very upset that she was questioning my judgment and that she thought that I as endangering our children. So there we were, right in front of our young children, arguing about the safe positioning of their mattresses in the middle of one of the strongest Hurricanes to ever hit New Jersey.

In the end, I was wrong in how I reacted to my wife questioning me. Instead of concentrating on the real issue, I argued over the fact that my wife questioned me in an emergency situation. I failed the interview.

When I was working on my qualification papers for my dissertation, I was nervous. So were the other members of my cohort concentration. We were facing an “impossible” challenge, something that we have never done before, and we could not rely on anyone for help. As part of the process, we were given an hour with one of our professors when we got the prompts for the two papers and we were allowed to ask her questions. I could not remember any of her advice with regards to the topics of the paper, except not to go over the page limit, but I did remember the best advice I ever received from a non-family member. She said, “Now is the time to rely on everything that you have accomplished thus far and use it to develop the confidence to face the challenges presented to you.” That statement was worth everything, both time and money, that I put into my graduate studies.

At first, I did not listen. I had finished the first paper and I was completing the rough draft of the second paper when I realized that I was struggling to write a quality graduate-level paper. I sensed that I was starting to panic and I did not know what to do. I stepped away from the papers and tried to relax. I failed. Looking back at my notes from the meeting with my professor, I realized that I was not following her advice. I was not relying on my past efforts to provide me with the confidence that I needed to write on the graduate level. I calmed down, regained focus, and with the new found confidence and focus, I made a breakthrough with the paper prompt. I went back to the library, did a new literature search and totally rewrote the second paper. I went back and rewrote the first paper as well. I finally figured out what my professors wanted and what they expected of me as a student and as a researcher. I handed the papers in at the deadline and I waited. A few weeks later, I received the email that I had passed the qualification process and I could move forward with my dissertation. I later found out that I was one of only six students, out of 29, to pass the qualification papers on the first try. I had a much more relaxing Spring Semester.

My professor’s advice calmed me down, helped me to find the confidence to perform well in a pressure situation, and allowed me to achieve at a very high level. With her advice, I passed the interview and eventually went on to earn my doctorate. I use this advice every day, especially in challenging situations.

The “Happy” Cable Guy

On a dark and stormy Saturday afternoon, I was disappointed to find our downstairs cable box was not working. My wife and children were watching TV upstairs and I was downstairs getting ready to watch the Notre Dame play football.  I called the cable company and requested someone to come to our house. They told me someone would be there between 4 and 6.

Around 4:45, the doorbell rang. Salvation was at the door. The problem was that salvation was not a happy employee. He was not a danger or angry towards us. But he hated the company he worked for. He spent the entire 37 minutes of his visit, of which he spent two minutes diagnosing the problem and determining that we needed a new cable box, three minutes in his truck looking for the correct cable box, and five minutes installing the new box. The rest of the time he spent complaining about his job, the corporate policies at the cable company, and the fact that he might have to charge us for the visit (He didn’t).

My wife knows how well I “deal” with negative people. She quietly snuck back upstairs as I watched the guy fix our issue. She believed that at any moment I would fire the worker and tell him to leave our house. I did not. Though it might have had a little to do with the fact that I had the game streaming on my smartphone and Notre Dame was winning, the main reason why I did not fire him was that I genuinely felt sorry for this guy. There was no way he should still be working for the cable company. Somehow, he felt that he was trapped in the company and could not get out soon enough. He was not taking responsibility for his thoughts, his actions, or his words. He told me that he was going to retire in two years. What type of retirement would he have? Would he complain about the company every day for the rest of his life?

After he left, I watched the remainder of the Notre Dame game through our cable box. I kept thinking about the “happy” cable guy. What would happen if he looked for side work to augment his retirement incomes? I strongly believe that everyone should have an exit strategy to augment one’s retirement savings. Today was his interview, his only shot to get the job, or even be considered for the job. He didn’t do well. He will not be hired by us. If he ever developed a side business that we needed, we would look elsewhere. He was out. He failed the interview. How would the outcome have changed if he had a positive attitude? I do not know for sure, but the interview results would have been better. Take responsibility for your thoughts, your words, and your actions. They set the tone for your interview. Someone is always watching. Every day is an interview.

I Want What I Paid For

When we first moved into our house, we paid to have a new furnace and Central Air System installed. Because the heat is carried throughout the house using a forced air system, it was important that we had a humidifier installed with the system. The system was installed in May and we could not be happier, until the winter.

When the weather got colder, I started to wake up with nosebleeds, and I started to feel under the weather. This is odd because I rarely get sick. When we checked our thermostat, we saw that humidity was less than 20% in the house. My wife suggested that we go downstairs and adjust the humidifier. After 30 minutes, we still could not find the humidifier. W went to the file cabinet, retrieved the contract that we had with the HVAC installation company, determined the make and brand of the humidifier, and we searched the model on the internet. Now that we knew what it looked like, we realized that it was never installed. Just to be sure, we hired a plumber to come in and install a new shut-off valve. While he was here, we asked him about a humidifier system. He gave us a quote and exactly where he would install it. Now we had back up information, a copy of our contract with the installation company, and a quote for a humidifier.

I called up the original installation company and informed them that we were having a problem with our humidity levels and that we were unable to find the humidifier that was supposed to be installed with the new system. The company sent out the same technicians who worked on the house. They went down to look at their work. After a few seconds, they realized their mistake. They told me that they had never installed the humidifier, and asked to see a copy of the contract. When I showed them the contract, they scratched their heads and told me that they owed me a humidifier. They apologized for the inconvenience. The new humidifier was installed two days later. For original workmanship, they failed the interview. For character and owning up to their mistakes, they passed the interview. I am not sure if we will hire them again. However, I appreciate the character they showed by owning up to their mistake and fixing the problem.

Driving

I do not like bad driving. I loathe bad drivers, especially those that are in front of me, and by the grace of automobile physics, are influencing my commute. Translation, these drivers are either putting my safe arrival in jeopardy or at the minimum, delaying it. I do not like those drivers on the narrow winding road near my house who drive too fast AND I especially do not like those drivers that cannot drive within the lines. I do not like the slow drivers in the left lane. I do not like drivers who think that cutting in front of me as if they were a James Bond Movie stuntman is a good method for arriving safely on time. And I really do not like my reaction to bad drivers, especially when my kids are in the car. Personally, I did not realize this until my oldest son asked me what did the driver in front of me do that warranted my vocalized disgust. The truth, he drove poorly in front of a person whose responses were out of whack with his goals.

      I cannot stop bad drivers. I cannot monitor each idiot (AKA selfish moron) who influences my ride, who cannot drive within the lines (Psst… slow down before someone I love gets hurt), or is too selfish to allow someone to pass them. Is driving in the left lane becoming a right? Is it becoming a privilege? Do they give out medals for total time spent driving in the left lane? Group events, like driving on a road, especially those events that are loosely organized, like driving on a road, need people to follow the norms… drive within the lines, stay right, pass left, etc.. This is not baseball, there are no unwritten rules to guide your actions.

What I can stop/change is me and how I react to situations. I need to develop better mental toughness and react positively. The two most important goals, in order, when I drive is to arrive safely, then to arrive on time. My reaction to these “Cracker-Jack” licensed drivers does not support either goal. It shows me that I do not know how to handle adversity. My reaction poorly models adult behavior to my children.

Goals this week:

  1. Arrive safely
  2. Arrive on Time
  3. Control my reactions by developing true mental toughness
  4. Be a better role model for my children
  5. Align my actions to my purpose… to make others better.

What are your goals… Let me know.

Enjoy the week…

Every day is an interview.

It Doesn’t Matter… so Don’t Let It

We all make mistakes. It is part of the “joy” of being a human being. How you recover from your mistakes is more important than your efforts to not make mistakes. I cannot tell you how many times I see people dwelling on their mistakes. Dwelling on your mistakes prevents you from moving forward. If you cannot move forward, you cannot grow. If you cannot grow, you cannot become the success that you want to become. Those around you will take note. Every day is an interview.

At work, we try to prevent mistakes. More importantly, we try to learn from mistakes. These are not just limited to the mistakes that we make, they include the mistakes that others make. However, when a colleague is complaining about a mistake that someone else makes, I make a mental note. I do not have time for this. I want to stop them and ask them what they did to help their colleague or employee who made the mistake. I want to ask them what was learned from the mistake, and I want to know how they helped their colleague/employee. When you complain, you make the mistake matter. You do not move forward and you do not get to grow. Those around you will take note. Every day is an interview.

Lastly, I cannot stand it when someone feels sorry themselves. When you make a mistake, get over it and move forward. Learn from it and grow. Do not dwell on it. Do not tell others so that they can feel sorry for you. I want to know when my employees and colleagues make mistakes.The instant that they finish telling me about their mistakes, they need to tell me about their solution for fixing the mistake. The employees who do this are the ones who are going to succeed at the highest level. They are the employees who are going to be picked for my team when we are working on big-ticket projects and who I am going to rely on when the going gets tough. These are the people who I will keep in my close circle. Every day is an interview.