Everyday is an Interview

As a country, we do not know how to lose. We are a nation of participation trophy recipients where everyone receives praise, not for their efforts or growth, but because they showed up to get the trophy after paying their fee, which cost more than the award. No one learns how to lose, as evidenced by the poor performances of those people who believe they are patriots yet do not understand how to act as one.

In 2016, James Harrison posted on Instagram, “I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy.” I could not agree more.

Reward growth, reward effort, but do not give the same symbols of champions to those who participate and lose.

When you lose, take the opportunity to improve yourself based on the lessons you learned from your failure. You do not deserve a participation trophy because you lost. What you do with the lessons you learned will be your trophy.

Success is learning from failures. No champion has won every game and every competition. Success is not about your ego; it is about getting better. Be obsessed with improvement.

Just Be Better

Stay Healthy, Stay Strong.

Over 15 years ago, when I was still coaching soccer and track, we had an amazing weight room coach working with our students. He not only knew how to teach weight lifting to teenagers, but he also led them with impeccable character, a great attitude, and a positive spirit. He was always fit, and he was always leading from the front. I was devastated when he left our program, but I respected his decision. Out of all of the trainers and weight room professionals that I have known over the years, he is one of two that I would allow to coach my sons.

Coach owned a gym in town. He was married to his high school sweetheart, and his children had finished college. I found out recently that his wife passed away due to cancer. I was devastated to hear the news. I had lost touch with Coach over the years. He is definitely a role model that I should have kept in my close circle of friends. 

I asked how he was doing. I was told that he was run down from the past few years. Not just emotionally, but also physically. It seems that his wife had been terminal for a few years. Being that he owned a gym, he did not have enough insurance for her treatments. To compensate and provide for his dying wife, he worked at the gym all day, came home to eat & care for his wife, and then worked the night shift at the local delivery company loading boxes. The coach was in his 60s. He never complained. He was focused on the love of his life. He sacrificed the body that he had built over the decades so she could have the best care available.  

He is a man of character.

Even though we have lost touch, he is still a role model for me today. Prayers to his family.

Just Be Better

Stay Strong, Stay Healthy.

We just had our first significant snowfall last week. We got between 6 and 8 inches. It was enough to cover everything and close down schools for the day. On my way to work the next day, I was annoyed at the number of people who had inches of snow on their cars’ roof as they were driving. They were endangering the drivers around them. It is not that hard to push the snow off the top of your vehicle. It is the respectful thing to do. It shows that you care about the safety of others on the road. To not remove the snow from your car is to decide to be lazy. Lazy and me do not get along.

I also get upset when people do not clear the snow from their fire hydrant. We have one on our property, and we clear it off every time it snows. It is a simple task and requires little effort. If a neighbor were not physically able to clear their hydrant, I would go over and do it for them. It is a simple act that protects our neighborhood. If there is a fire on our street, I do not want the firefighters delayed because they have to clear the snow from a fire hydrant before getting the water they need to fight the fire. 

We need to step up and do the right thing. Be respectful. Move the snow, not just from your car, but from your fire hydrants as well.

Just Be Better

Stay Strong. Stay Healthy

I was finishing up a session in my office when my wife asked me to come upstairs. I said I would be there in a minute. She told me to please hurry, the fridge is leaking. I stopped what I was doing and ran to the kitchen. My wife had already spotted the problem before I arrived, the refrigerator’s water filter was leaking. I took the filter out and the leak stopped. We checked to see if the local appliance store had the filter, which would make sense since we bought the refrigerator there. They had the unit in stock. My youngest son, my wife, the filter, and I got in the car and headed to the store.

When we got to the store, our son picked out what we thought to be the correct replacement, but the three of us were not sure. The two filters model numbers were close, but not exactly the same. We decided to ask the sales assistant working in the area. We waited for her to finish with another customer before we went up and asked her if we made the right choice. She glanced at the old filter, glanced at the new filter, looked at us, and said, “It looks like a filter to me and left.” 

As we turned to walk away my son said, “She would have done a better job if she said it smelled like the right filter.” I am glad that my youngest son can discern when adults are not being authentic and lending support with their expertise. This sales assistant was lazy and our 13 year-old son knew it.

In the end, her lack of help didn’t matter as we had the right filter. My wife replaced the filter and we both praised our son for recognizing when someone couldn’t be bothered to help others, especially when it is their job.

Just Be Better

Stay Healthy, Stay Strong.

I love the Las Vegas (nee Oakland, nee Los Angeles, nee Oakland again) Raiders. I have followed them for years.

Cable did not televise the Raiders game last week in northern New Jersey. I followed the score on my iPhone. It seemed like they could easily win the game as they recovered a fumble close to their end zone with less than 5 minutes left in the game. They did not score a touchdown and had to settle for a field goal. They also left a lot of time on the clock for the other team to score a touchdown. A few minutes later, the opposing team scored a touchdown as time ran out. The game was over and it seemed that the Raiders had lost. However, the touchdown was reviewed and the replay official overturned the other team’s touchdown. I have looked at the final play numerous times. I think the other team scored the winning touchdown and the Raiders should have lost.

The Raiders should never have been in the position to lose the game. They did not make the most of their opportunities. They recovered a fumbled punt, close to their end zone, with less than 5 minutes remaining and they could only get a field goal. They had two opportunities. The first was to score a touchdown. The second was to run down the clock so the other team had very little time to score the winning touchdown. When they gave the other team the ball back after their field goal, the Raiders allowed them to march down the field. It seemed that the Raiders refused to tackle their opponents when they had the chance. Time after time, they had the opportunity to end the opposing team’s drive and win the game. But they could/would not. Instead, they relinquished control of the game and they relied on an official to save their season. 

I love the Raiders, but I demand more excellence. Step up and win the game on your own. Take advantage of every opportunity. Do not get into the position that you have to rely on others to get the job done. Never waste a chance to win.

Just Be Better

Stay Strong, Stay Healthy

In athletics, I was always taught to accept the loss without making excuses. I was taught that there was no one else to blame. I was trained to learn from my mistakes and work hard to improve upon them. When we lost, we lost as a team. Never because of one mistake or by one person. Together, we admitted the loss. 

I still use the lessons learned through losses to make me a better person. I do not blame others. I admit when I am bested. I learn from my mistakes and I move forward. This is how I lead.

Clearly, there are too many leaders who never played sports.

Just Be Better

Stay Strong, Stay Healthy

My oldest son is learning to drive. Even though he is doing a great job, it is harrowing for my wife and me to give up control of a vehicle to a teenager, even if he is our teenager. It took him a few times to realize that driving is not as easy as learning how to play a video game. He has good instincts; he just needs more “reps” before he is ready for his driver’s test.

Today is Halloween. Since it is Saturday, the four of us get take-out food from a restaurant for our family dinner. My son drove us to pick up our food. As we returned to our development, many kids were running around on the sidewalk, going from house to house to get their Halloween treats. None of the kids and none of the accompanying adults were wearing a mask. It was interesting to note that the kids were on the sidewalk, and the parents were in the middle of the road. 

My son saw this and slowed down. Most of the parents moved towards either side of the road. However, one decided to leave her side of the road, turn her back to our car, and walk back into the middle of the road while having a conversation with her unmasked friends. My son stopped the car, and still, the lady almost walked into our car.  My son was upset and I was angry. We remained calm. Neither of us showed our emotions. I got even angrier when the lady sent us an unsupportive hand gesture. 

My son slowly drove off, making sure that he did not hit anyone who thought walking on the road without masks in the middle of the road backward during a pandemic was a good idea. When we got home, we were still in shock that this misguided, backward-walking role model for her children was angry at us. My son did everything right. He slowed down when he saw a bunch of children running around. He stopped when an adult did not pay attention and look both ways while crossing the street. He did not respond to her hand gesture. He even wore his mask in public.

No one owns the road. You never know who is driving. For all you know, it may be someone who is learning how to drive. This lady just got lucky that my son had enough “reps” that he knew what to do.

Just Be Better

Stay Healthy, Stay Strong.

Regardless of your idealogy, it is hard to ignore that some of our leaders on both sides of the aisle are not practicing what they preach. When asked about the contradictions between their recent decisions and their previous actions, they skirt the question. I am still looking for a journalist courageous enough to press them on their contradictions until one leader admits the truth.

I am looking for leaders who are strong in character. I am more inclined to vote for a leader who just tells the truth. This is the type of leader that I want to lead me. This is the type of leader who is going to help me grow.

Just Be Better

Stay Strong, Stay Healthy

Today is a busy day. 

I feel that I have too many things to accomplish today. However, my feelings are not accurate in my current situation. I have a lot on my plate, but it is the stuff that I can get done. I will need to stay at work later than expected, but I can handle it.

In a moment of feeling sorry for myself, I started to hope that one of my meetings would get canceled to free up a little of my day. I woke up from my small pity party and decided that I would be disappointed in myself if I let that meeting get canceled. I realized that I needed to direct my thoughts towards being who I want to be, a (hu)man who can get the job done without any needless anxiety. I needed to be in the present and not focused on my future schedule.

To change my attitude, I had to consider a few things. First, I scheduled the meeting. I gave my word that I would be there and that I would do a great job. Second, the purpose of the meeting was to help someone get better. Helping others is my core philosophy. Third, if I did not conduct the session, I would lose the income generated from that meeting. If I canceled the session, I might also affect future earnings with this client. Looking at all of these reasons, it was clear to me that I would not get ahead by canceling the meeting. Besides, I make my schedule, and I need to take ownership of my situation.

Even when things are tough, avoid the pity party and stay focused on the present. Avoid thinking about all of the other things that you have to do.

Every day is an interview.

Stay Healthy, Stay Strong.

The most troublesome aspect of COVID-19 is that there is no vaccine. If you are to get it, it is up to your body’s defenses to save your life. Sadly, many have succumbed to the disease. In the absence of a vaccine, the following is a list of things that each of us can do to help bolster our immune system and hopefully defeat the disease if we get it.

1. Stay Hydrated
2. Run, Bike, Swim, lift something, anything. 
3. Sleep Well. 
   1. Stop drinking an hour before bed. As I am getting a little older each day, it is important that I do not drink too close to bedtime. Otherwise, I will wake up in the middle of the night to relieve my bladder. This kills my sleep. If I am drinking water consistently throughout the day, I do not need anything an hour before I go to bed. At 9 pm, I stop drinking my water. When I wake up, I drink water right away. Notice that I keep saying water. I do not drink soda, I do not like the taste of soda. If I do drink soda, it is either ginger ale or ginger beer (I also use the latter in my mixed drinks. I do enjoy an occasional beverage or two on the weekends) to calm my stomach or seltzer. I drink coffee in the morning after I have drunk at least 16 oz of water. I may drink a cup of coffee in the afternoon right before a lifting session. If I get that mid-day bonk, I usually have more water. Water does a better job of waking me up than coffee does. Any more than two cups of coffee per day if I am lifting, or one if I am not, will make me jittery.
4. Eat Well. Please stay away from the COVID 15 (See earlier blog). 
5. Practice social distancing… it works. 
6. Wear Masks… it works, especially when practiced with social distancing
7. Wash your hands. The Coronavirus can last for a few hours to a few days on a surface. You should wash your hands with soap and water, which is preferred over hand sanitizer. In fact, the FDA has recently recalled over 75 hand sanitizers as they were made with methyl alcohol, which is deadly (https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-safety-and-availability/fda-updates-hand-sanitizers-consumers-should-not-use)
8. Clean, then disinfect (only if needed) Clean commonly used surfaces regularly.
9. Avoid public water

This is not a Be-All End-All list. I hope it gives you a good start as you plan your COVID defenses for the upcoming fall (allergy in Northern NJ) season.  Please feel free to send me any additions I should make to the list.

       Stay Healthy, Stay Strong.