Everyday is an Interview

What did you do this past Memorial Day Weekend? Barbecues, Parties, the Beach, etc… For most of us, it is a long weekend and a chance for us to unwind and relax. But what did you do to remember those people who gave their lives for our country?

Memorial Day is a time to honor those men and women in the Armed Forces who gave died serving our country. They fought to defend the ideals that built this country. As Americans, we need to show respect and gratitude for their sacrifice on Memorial Day and demonstrate that the holiday is something more than just the start to the summer.

Memorial Day Weekend is usually when I finish all of the major outdoor projects that need to be completed before the summer begins. When I get everything done, I will relax, read, and watch the NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Tournament. I also sign up for, contribute money to, and complete the Murph Workout. This workout is named after Lieutenant Michael P. Murphy. Lt. Murphy died in Afganistan while trying to get support for his teammates while they were involved in a deadly firefight. For more information, go to https://www.navy.mil/ah_online/moh/murphy.html. Lt. Murphy was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for his heroic and unselfish actions in this firefight.

To honor the memory of Lt. Murphy, I sign up for the Murph Workout, contribute money to the scholarship fund ($60) in his name, and complete the workout. The workout consists of running 1 mile, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, and then running another mile. All of this is done while wearing a 20# vest. It is not an easy task, but it can be done in under an hour (54:04 this year). I do not belong to a CrossFit Box, but many support the workout on Memorial Day. For more information on your local CrossFit Box, go to www.Crossfit.com.

The Murph workout is becoming more popular as more and more people are trying to complete it on Memorial Day. The money is raised for a worthy cause, people are challenging themselves, and people are honoring someone who sacrificed their lives for our country, our ideals, and for his teammates. The latter being the true reason for Memorial Day.

If you missed the workout and Memorial Day, you can still sign up to do the workout and contribute money to the scholarship fund at www.themurphchallenge.com.

Thank you Lt. Murphy, and all those men and women in the United States Armed Forces who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Please do something to remember them every Memorial Day Weekend, if not everyday.

As I am getting ready for another season of Obstacle Course Races (OCRs), I am pondering my improvement in certain areas. I focused a lot on my running form, endurance and upper body strength in the off-season. When I tested myself to see how far I had come, I realized that I still had some major deficiencies & imbalances in my upper body strength, especially with regards to my pull up strength. I am definitely a bit disappointed in myself as I expect more from my efforts.

I realized that I was going to do more burpees as penalties this season. The Spartan Race penalty for failing an obstacle is 30 burpees. I averaged 4-5 fails a race last year… Rope Climb, Anything with rings, spear throw, Twister, etc.) Each failure adds at least 3 minutes to my time. It sucks and I do not enjoy doing the burpees. I did not create the penalty, but I assume the burpees are meant to encourage me to succeed on the obstacle. No big deal. A set of burpees is an excellent workout and I can do them without issue.

So why is something that is good for me a punishment? This is similar to running laps when you make a mistake in practice. As a former track coach, I find it laughable that a coach would have someone run laps because that someone made a mistake. Isn’t running supposed to be glorified in most sports as opposed to being the go-to form of punishment? What if I want to run the laps as opposed to completing the task the coach wants me to do. In this case, the punishment is not encouraging a change in behavior, it is encouraging failure.

I want to run a clean OCR race and complete each obstacle without issue. If I do not, it is ok, I can just do a set of 30 burpees each time I fail and then move to the next obstacle. Therefore, is the punishment making it ok for me to fail?

I am terrible at climbing ropes. I can teach my oldest son to climb a rope, but I fail every time I tried to do so myself. Even with failing to climb the rope, I can successfully complete an obstacle course race, get my official time, and earn my medal. Is it ok that I can just rely on my 30 burpees to get me by to the next obstacle. The punishment is not changing my behavior (to climb the rope), thus the punishment is failing its purpose (to change behavior).

I may not want to do the burpees, but I can do the burpees, and I will do them because I still cannot climb the rope. At this point, after 9 obstacle course races, has the punishment become my enabler?

Be careful of the consequences/punishments that provide you with an excuse to fail. Do not rely on them to earn success. If you cannot climb a rope, instead of relying on burpees, practice until you can do it, then practice until you can do it better. Do what it takes to be successful and stay away from things that just let you get the job done.

Every day is an Interview

Nothing pisses me off more than laziness. Some in my close circle might think that it would be more accurate to say that nothing pisses me off more than tardiness. That is only true if the person who is late was too lazy to call me and let me know that they were going to be late. Good communications can help me to solve someone’s tardiness, but nothing can solve someone’s laziness.

Yesterday, 2/20/19, we had a good snowfall for Western New Jersey. I was hoping for more so that I could try out my new snowshoes, but what can you do? The next morning, the schools opened on a 2-hour delay to give the maintenance staff time to clear the parking lots and sidewalks. Driving to work, it amazed me how many people took the time to clean their sidewalks and driveways, yet, they did not take the time to take the snow off of their cars.

Having snow on your car is dangerous to all of the other drivers on the road. As the snow goes flying off the roof of your car, it can do damage to the cars behind you, could cause the person behind you to swerve out of the way endangering those behind you, and it could cover the front windshield of those behind you. None of these are good scenarios.

How hard is it to sweep the snow off your car before you drive? They make brooms with soft brushes so that they will not scratch your car. Some say that they are too old and weak. Not a good enough excuse. If you are fit enough to drive, you are fit enough to ask for help when needed. Make sure that your car is safe before you drive. Others say that their car is too big and they cannot reach the roof. I am guessing that if you are not physically fit enough to clean the top of your roof that you do not need such a large car. New Jersey even made a law that requires drivers to remove the snow from their car before driving. Today, the law was not enforced and people were in danger.

Bottom line, if you are not going to get the snow off your car, please do not drive. No one wants to share the road with an excuse laden lazy driver who’s laziness is endangering everyone else on the road.

To all of you with snow on your car on the morning of 2/21/19, or any other day for that matter… you failed the interview.

We all need role models in our lifes. When I was younger, it was my father. Luckily, he still is a role model for me today. My wife is also a role model, as are my children, my staff, and pretty much everyone that I am around. Sometimes, these role models are examples of what not to do. Everyone can be a role model if you just patiently watch and observe.

If you effectively observe people for an extended time, you will eventually develop the ideal version of you. This version of you is extremely important to who you want to become. Without it, you do not have a true vision for your future self. You must develop this image in your mind and then work on developing yourself into this version of you.

Have you mentally developed the ideal version of you? If not, do so right now. Use this mental image to guide your actions. Do this over and over again until you become the ideal version of you.

When you get to this point, do not stop developing the ideal version of you. Just like your software, you must keep updating your ideal version of yourself. Let’s be honest, at 49, the ideal version of me is a lot different than when I was 4, eating Mr. Salty pretzels on a bench with a fireman’s helmet on my head. It is different than the ideal version of myself when I was a teenager dreaming of becoming a rock & roll guitarist. It is different than the version of me in my 20s, my 30s, and most of my 40s. It is different than who I was last year. Keep evolving as a person and keep evolving the ideal version of yourself.

Every day is an Interview.

One of the first things that firemen learn about fires is that it takes three things to make a fire.  First, you need a fuel source – something like wood or paper that is capable of burning. Second, you need an ignition source – the spark that starts the fire.  Finally, you need an oxidizing agent – the most common is oxygen – which keeps the fire going. Together, these three things make up the fire triangle. Remove any one of them and the fire can’t sustain itself and will go out.

Yesterday, my wife took our youngest son to the orthopedist to have a checkup on his back. The results were good, but unfortunately, my wife had to wait over an hour to see the doctor. To us, he is a good doctor, in a good practice who is worth the inconvenience of a wait. The annoyance of waiting is a good time to work on one’s self-control. My wife was put to the test.

In the waiting room was another mother waiting for her child’s appointment. As my wife described her, she was a sprinting whiner. She not only whined about everything, but she also spoke so fast that it seemed like she was in a speed race. When my wife relayed the story to me, she could not even recall what the sprinting whiner was complaining about, nor did my wife care.

As we were talking about the “challenge” of keeping one’s composure when confronted by a sprinting whiner, my wife suggested the whiner’s triangle. On the right side is the whiner, on the left side is the sacrificial lamb (i.e. the president, taxes, teachers, the weather, the spouse, the kids, money, etc.), and on the bottom, laying the foundation are the people who are not only listening, they are contributing to the whining. It makes for an explosive situation.

I once worked in a place that had a group of whiners. They would hijack the breakroom, faculty room, hangout room, etc., and provide the gloomy overtones needed for a negative environment. I would walk out of these rooms feeling awful. Once I realized what was going on, I stopped occupying these spaces. They were too negative. The “shocker” is the whining never got these people anywhere. Whining is not a solution. Instead, it is what people do when they want to feel sorry for themselves, when they want others to feel sorry for themselves, and when they have given up on finding a solution to their problems.

In the fire triangle, it is easy to remove one of the sides of the triangle. You can deprive a fire of oxygen, you can remove its fuel source, and/or you can remove the heat. Remove any of the sides and the fire cannot exist. With regards to a whiner’s triangle, you can change your attitude and focus if you are the whiner, you can remove the sacrificial lamb, or you can remove yourself as a member of the audience. If you cannot remove yourself from the audience, as in my wife’s situation, you can focus on your attitude and use the strategies needed to keep you from succumbing to the whiner’s triangle.

You cannot prevent whiner’s from complaining, but you can remove yourself from the whiner’s triangle. Start working on recognizing when you are part of the whiner’s triangle and learn how to remove yourself from the situation. This will make you happier and stronger. Once you have confidence in your abilities, try teaching others how to do the same.

While implementing the Everyday is an Interview philosophy, no matter how hard we try, we are going to have days when we do not live up to our purpose, our thoughts, and our potential. Our actions will not be in alignment with our purpose and we will not perform at our optimal level. When these days happen, what do you do?

I talked previously about coaching advice that I had received from those who have mentored and guided me. Looking back, I wish I started my coaching career in my late 40s when I had a better understanding of my purpose and my philosophy and also had the resolve to stand up for both.

One of the impactful bits of advice that I received was when I was on the bench as an assistant coach for a Varsity Soccer game. We were playing well, yet we were tied with a team that we were much better then. For some reason, we were just not able to put the ball in the back of the net. One could feel the tension building as the game went on. Then, with time winding down, we let up a goal. It was a mixture of great play by the other team and a slight lack of focus by us. The game was not over but everyone on our team had their heads down. The next words out of the head coach’s mouth were brilliant. Calmly and coolly he said, “Just respond. Think about what you are going to do next… and do it.” He did not forget his purpose and he did not panic. Despite losing late in the game, his actions were aligned with his purpose – to help his team get better every day.

These words were more important to me and my career than the results of the game. It had a far more lasting result on my life who I have become. I used these same words with many of my teams and colleagues.

You are going to have moments when your purpose, actions, and thoughts are not aligned with each other. What do you do? You just respond by thinking about what you are going to do next. Dwelling on the past will lead you to feel sorry for yourself and that is not aligned to the Every Day is an Interview Philosophy.

The next time that you have a setback, tell yourself to respond and focus on what you are going to do next. Let me know how it goes.

While implementing the Everyday is an Interview philosophy, no matter how hard we try, we are going to have days when we do not live up to our purpose, our thoughts, and our potential. Our actions are not in alignment with our purpose. When these days happen, what do you do? How do you respond?

I talked previously about coaching advice that I had received from those who have mentored and guided me. Looking back, I wish I started my coaching career in my late 40s when I had a better understanding of my purpose and my philosophy and also had the resolve to stand up for both.

One of the impactful bits of advice that I received was when I was on the bench for a Varsity Girls Soccer game. We were playing very well, yet we were in a scoreless tie with a team that we were much better then. For some reason, we were just not able to put the ball in the back of the net. One could feel the tension building as the game went on. Then, with time winding down, we gave up a goal. It was a mixture of great play by the other team and a slight mistake by us. The game was not over and everyone on our team had their heads down. The next words out of the head coach’s mouth were brilliant. Calmly and coolly he said, “Hey ladies, just respond. Think about what you are going to do next… and do it.” He did not forget his purpose and he did not panic. Despite losing, his actions were aligned with his purpose, to help his team get better every day.

These words were more important to me and my career than the results of the game. It had a far more lasting result on my life who I have become. I used these words with many of my teams.

You are going to have moments when your purpose, actions, and thoughts are not aligned with each other. What do you do? You just respond by thinking about what you are going to do next. Dwelling on the past will lead you to feel sorry for yourself and that is not aligned to the Every Day is an Interview Philosophy.

I coached for over 17 years on the high school and club level. Though my main sports were boys’ and girls’ soccer and girls’ track and field, I also coached softball and basketball. In all, I coached for 33 seasons. As a coach, especially a young coach, I received a lot of advice that influenced my growth. However, the best advice I ever received still guides me to this day.

I was going into my fifth year as a coach when I started working for Coach S. He was the third head soccer coach I was working for in my short career. I had learned a lot in the previous 4 years, but I still had a long way to go before I was ready to run my own program. We had known each other for a few years, but we had never coached together. When I sat down with him to discuss what I thought were my strengths and weaknesses, he told me to just focus on getting better every day. This had to be my primary focus with everything that I did with regards to the athletes as individuals, the athletes as players, the team as a whole, and myself as the coach. He told me that if I focused on winning, the team would never reach its full potential. However, if I focused on getting better every day, our team had a chance to reach their potential and maybe even more. Best coaching/life/mentorship advice that I ever received.

Focus on getting better every day. Everything else is secondary.

Every day is an Interview

A Left Lane Larry is defined as that person who feels that it is their unalienable right to drive in the left lane regardless of their speed or the number of people driving behind them. If I remember correctly, and I do, the left lane is for passing only. Call me old, but if you are not driving faster than the surrounding traffic, then you should not be in the left lane.

The other morning, I was driving to work. It was later than usual as I had to drop off my son at school with his afterschool equipment. As an administrator, I have a little bit of flexibility with my time. This was one of the few times I needed to take advantage of it.  I was second in line at the traffic light to turn onto the local two-lane highway (2 lanes each way). The car in front of me was taking its time turning right, even though the light was green, and went right to the left lane (From now on, I will call him Left Lane Larry). Traffic in the right lane was slow, so I got myself into the left lane.  By the time both of us passed the slow traffic in the right lane, Left Lane Larry was driving less than the speed limit with no one in front of him. I flashed my beams and he did nothing. I went into the right lane and passed him. A few minutes later, there was slow traffic in the right lane so I switched to the left lane. There was Left Lane Larry right behind me flashing his high beams as if he was a firefighter going to a fire. I passed the slow traffic and got into the right lane. He did not pass me. A mile later, my exit came up. As I was about to take the right-lane exit, Larry cut me off from the left lane without a blinker, phone in his hand held up to his ear, and took the same exit. Now I was pissed. It is one thing to be a slow driver, it is another thing to be a dangerous driver.

Little did I know that Left Lane Larry happens to work at one of the schools that I serve as an administrator. I am confident that his supervisor handled his lateness. When he pulled into the parking lot, I could not believe that someone who guides children could be such a danger to others on the road. I feel sorry for his child(ren) who are forced to ride in the car with him. I will also make sure that I leave earlier in the morning so I do not have to worry about him sharing the road with me.

He failed the day’s interview.

I hate poor customer service. I really hate poor customer service disguised as an automated teller.  And I really really hate poor customer service when it involves a Christmas gift for a loved one.

For Christmas, we bought my 11-year son a PlayStation game from a 3rd-party vendor through Amazon. He really wanted the game and was very excited to receive the game on Christmas morning. He played it for a few nights until he accumulated enough points to make an in-game purchase. This turned into an epic fail. The add-ons that my son purchased would not interface with the game. After doing several Google and forum searches, we called PlayStation for customer support. After asking a few questions, it was determined that we had purchased a game that was a European-registered game and it would not allow in-game purchases in the United States (At some point, someone will have to explain the logistics). The PlayStation rep told us that we needed to return the game, what to ask for from the vendor, and to check the new disk when we received it. I contacted the vendor through Amazon, told them what we wanted in 200 characters or less (A US-registered version of the game with the correct codes that I provided for them), and used the automatically generated packing slip to return the game at the local UPS store.

My son waited anxiously for the replacement game to arrive. Two days later, it was delivered. When we opened the game, we checked the code on the disk and determined that it was another European-registered version of the game. Of course, when I tried to contact the company, there was no one that I could contact directly. There was no one I could explain the problem to. More importantly, there was no one I could explain the solution to. There was no one. There was only an automated system that could not comprehend my issue.

In the end, I had to return the replacement game and receive a refund. However, I was not reimbursed for my time, the packaging, or the travel to the UPS store. No one apologized to my son. No one took ownership. The quality of care was poor.

In the end, we got a US-registered version of the game at the local GameStop. The salesman was very professional and was able to get the exact version that we wanted. He even allowed us to open the disk and check for the US registration numbers. It was the correct version of the game and all was well.

My son learned a good set of lessons. First, do not give up when you do not get what you want. Second, do not get frustrated by poor customer service. Third, do not get frustrated by poor automated customer service. And finally, if you really want to get something, make sure that you clearly communicate what you want to someone who can deliver.

Everday is an Interview