Everyday is an Interview

Why do we dread the end of a vacation? For the longest time, I have been struggling with the fact that I did not treat the last few days of vacation as a day of vacation. I would dread the last few days of vacation. Why? Because I had to go back to school or go back to work. The ironic thing is that I enjoyed school and enjoy my job.

Last year, during my two longer vacations (5-7 days), I started to relate vacations to one’s life. At the beginning of the vacation, I am giddy and happy with no cares in the world. After a day or two, I get serious and make sure that I will accomplish everything I want to do over the break. Towards the end of the vacation, I am trying to put the brakes on time and make sure that the vacation does not end.

This year, during my winter vacation, I shifted gears and started to take a positive approach about the end of my vacation. In terms of relaxing and resetting myself, the vacation was great. I could have returned to work a day or two earlier feeling fully refreshed and ready to take on the world. I got all of my goals accomplished during the break. I read a few books, worked on my writing, took it easy, and spent time with my family. I stayed away from work emails, caught up on the Ozarks – Season 2, and worked out every day. But at the end of the vacation, I did not know how to feel.

How should one approach the last day of vacation?

Forget that it is your last day of vacation. Time should not be the focus. The fact that you are still on vacation should be the focus. Set new goals for the day and execute them. What I am not going to do is sit around and lament that I am at the end of my vacation. I am going to enjoy the day as if was any other vacation day.

I hope that this is the same way I am going to finish my days. Substitute life for vacation. If I found out that this was my last day on earth, would I lament that it was over or would I do everything I could to enjoy the day and accomplish goals?

I hope that I have a long life ahead of me. But I won’t take it for granted, I will live my life well, whether it is my first day, the middle of my life, or it’s my last day.

How are you going to live your last day of vacation?

How are you going to live your last day of life?

Every day is an Interview

New Year’s Resolutions… What a waste of time and effort. Especially when you consider that this year, January 12 was officially labeled as Quitters’ Day, a day dedicated to those people who already failed at their resolutions. How sad. With all of the hype, chest pounding, and resolute proclamations, it is stunning to me that so many people quit their New Year’s Resolution so quickly. Business models are built around people quitting their resolutions before they have completely met their financial obligations (i.e. gym membership). These businesses will continue to collect money from their “quitting members” only to entice them to sign up again next year. A tremendous amount is made about making resolutions and then quitting them. Nothing is made about helping those around you make a change. It is now the 50th day of the year (2/19). Did you make resolutions? Have you been faithful to the changes that you wanted to make? Have you helped anyone with their changes?”

I used to fall into this trap of failure and make resolutions each year. By the end of January, my resolutions were forgotten and I would be back to my old ways. Unfortunately, we did not have Quitter’s Day back then so I had nothing to celebrate. Eventually, I realized how foolish it was to wait until the start of a new year to change my ways. I learned that if I wanted to make a change, I needed to start right away.

Waiting to make a change is simply a form of procrastination. Common knowledge states that it takes 60+ days to change a habit. Yet, people cannot keep the commitment to their New Year’s Resolutions for 12 days. Procrastination, i.e. waiting until New Year’s Day, is partly responsible for this mass failure. If you want to make a change, start now.

In order to make a lasting change, you have to have to set a specific goal. Going to the gym is not a specific goal. Adding an inch to your arms in 6 months is a specific goal. It requires planning, the right workouts, the right diet, the right mindset, the right amount of dedication, and the right rest. It will not happen just by going to the gym and socializing for an hour at a time.  

If you want to make a change, recognize that a change needs to occur, create a specific goal, develop a plan, and start the journey. Mark 60 days out on your calendar. Never wait until New Year’s Day to begin… never. It is just a sure path to failure.

Example:

A few months ago, I was eager to start a new workout plan. I just finished going through a challenging plan, but I had plateaued. It was time to shake thing up. So I did my research and developed my plan. I finished the plan late on a Saturday Night. What should I do? Should I wait until Monday, when I traditionally start a new cycle?

My new workout plan starts on Sundays instead of Mondays. Since the plan was set and ready to go on a Sunday, why should I wait until Monday? Sunday used to be my rest day, now it is Fridays when I am the busiest with my children’s schedule. So far, this works for me.

If you are looking for something to do with the New Year, do not make a resolution, complete a challenge. I have two that I do/start every New Year’s Day. The first is to do the year in pushups. This year, I did 2019 push-ups on January 1. I started in the morning and did them on and off throughout the day, finishing around 7 pm at night. Second, I go sober for a month starting on January 1 (Dry January). It is a great reset for my body.

Never wait to make a change. Instead of joining the herd on January 1, celebrate you and complete a challenge. Help others when they are trying to make a change. Challenge yourself to get better every day… year

Every day is an Interview.

When it comes to my workouts, I do not believe in rest days. I work out every day. I lift on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I run on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I do Taekwondo on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. I work on my weaknesses, currently pull-ups, every day except Friday.

I do not believe in rest days. I play the guitar every day. I even hid a guitar at work for those days when I have to work so late that everyone in my house will be asleep when I get home. I learned the hard way not to practice the guitar when the family is asleep. I also write every day. I do not miss a day… ever.

This year, coming into the winter holidays, I realized that I needed to take a break from work. It had been an incredibly difficult year both mentally and emotionally. I was done. Two days before the holiday break, I started to wake up too early… on my own. Whenever I do not sleep in a regular pattern, I know that something is wrong. This was the sign I needed. Instead of going to work over the holiday break, I still have to report to work when teachers and students are on break, I took some vacation time. I needed to rest, relax, and recharge. I could not go continue to go forward without some time off.

10 years ago, I never would have taken this time off. I would not have admitted that I needed to take a break. I would have worked straight through my issues until I crashed and burned. I have gotten older and wiser since then. I recognize the value of rest and I have learned how to recognize when I need to get some.

When I take a break, I still do those things that are aligned with my goals. I still work out, I still write, and I still play guitar. But I will not work, I will not even think about work, and I will not check my emails. I will just rest:)

Do you take a break when you need it?

Every day is an Interview.

Today, my wife was telling me about an article that she read in the paper. The article had her dumbfounded. The thesis was that the Tuna Industry is blaming millennials for the fact that their sales are down. I laughed at the ridiculousness of the idea. Clearly, this is an industry that is going to fail real soon, simply due to the fact that they are not taking ownership of their circumstances. Instead of taking ownership, they choose the easiest group to pick on, the millennials.

Important Note: I am 48 at the time that I am writing this, none of my family members are in their 20’s, and none of my staff act as the stereotypical “millennial”. For the purposes of this article, Millennials are defined as “a person reaching young adulthood in the early 21st century” ( Dictionary.com)

Please do not get me wrong, I am not standing up for the millennials. In fact, I am not standing up for any group, including mine (Generation X – pretty cool name though, especially as a fan of Billy Idol)

What I am standing up for is taking ownership of failure. I want to be surrounded by people who take ownership of their failure, who do not blame others for their misfortune, who are willing to learn from their mistakes, and are ready to grow and mature.

How is it even remotely possible that an entire industry can be brought down by one age group? Is it because the millennials have decided to stop eating tuna? Is it because there is too much mercury in tuna? Is it because the quality of fish has decreased due to ocean pollution and overfishing? Are the millennials the only ones who have decided that eating too much tuna is bad for them? My wife and I are both Generation X-ers. We make sure that we keep our seafood intake at safe levels. Did the Tuna Industry mean to leave us out or are we just outliers?

Successful people take the blame for their misfortune, make corrections, and reinvent themselves. They don’t blame the millennials for their spot in this world. In the case of the Tuna Industry, they need to focus on the real problems, which are not the millennials, and figure out new solutions to their declining sales. If not, they should call up Toys R’ Us, Blockbuster, and Borders to find out what to do when you are no longer relevant.

Every day is an Interview

In great tragedy, you find out the character of the people around you. This is when it counts. We recently had a devastating loss to our team. It was sudden and none of us were truly prepared for it. It was unfair to our colleague and her family. I was proud of my team and how they rallied together to get through the loss (Truly, we will never get over the loss of our friend and colleague). I was proud of how we supported the family while they were in the hospital. I am proud of our numbers at the wake and at the funeral. I was proud of how we supported each other. I was proud. For a time, all of the jealousies, squabbles, and conflicts that are part of working together were forgotten. Everyone supported each other. It is in time of tragedy when you will find out if the people around you can pass the interview. My team passed with flying colors. Can your team pass that interview? Let’s hope you never find out.

RIP M.T. 11/27/2018

Every day is an Interview

I do not believe in Most Valuable Anything awards. Why? Everyone in my life is valuable. If they are not, they should be gone. Why does one have to be recognized as being more valuable than the others? There is always a compelling argument for the other guy. Someone deserving is always left out. I have several colleagues in my department who are worthy of the MV-Anything “award” on a daily basis. If I pick only one, other deserving employees will be left out. Instead of creating an environment of rewards, MV-Anything awards tend to create an environment of “Why Not Me.” People then tend to focus on the award instead of the quality work and effort that would make them qualify for the award. Someone wins, but others continue to lose. It creates an environment of bad intentions and bad attitudes that is a breeding ground for “loser” attitudes. All our employees are valuable, even the ones that are filling in for our permanent employees.

Example

In education, you must have a teacher in the classroom that is certified to teach the material. There is very little wiggle room. Over the past 2 and a half years, we have had over eleven extended leaves that needed long-term substitute teachers in my department of 31 staff members. Most were due to joyous additions to a colleague’s family. Others were due to unforeseen circumstances that had to be addressed. The certifications needed to teach in the science department are very hard to fill. I was lucky enough to find a candidate who was transitioning back to the workforce that had experience as a college professor and as an online educator. The former appealed to me because of the depth of her content knowledge. The latter appealed to me because we were moving to a new online structure in our school district and her expertise would be valuable. In the last 2 and a half years, this candidate has filled six long-term substitute positions. Two of them were even outside of her expertise. However, according to the NJDOE, the positions were short-term enough that she could fill the position. She was truly a part of the department and a part of the district. She was our outstanding long-term substitute teacher.

In all six cases, the candidate knocked it out of the park. So much so, that I recommended her to various other schools who were looking for a full-time teacher. She was always a finalist, but she never got a job offer. One day, a position suddenly became available in our department. Right away, we thought of our outstanding long-term substitute teacher. However, this was going to be a difficult position to fill because it would not turn into a full-time tenure-track for some time due to contractual obligations and state regulations. On the same day that we told her about this position, that it might turn into a full-time tenure-track placement, she got an offer from another school for a full-time tenure-track position.

We wanted her for our district, but we could not offer her the job, a letter of intent, etc. for over two months. There was nothing that we could do to guarantee her the position. She had an offer and a contract on the table from another district and only our word that we were interested in offering her the position, but at a much later date.

She chose us. Why? First off, the other school took over a month to make their decision when they told her that they would have a decision within a week. Never over promise and under deliver. If you are stuck in this situation, communicate the issues so that all parties know what is happening. Second, she loved our staff and students. Everyone treated her as a professional, included her in their activities, both in and out of school. She had made many relationships with people within the district. Third, we made her no promises that we could not keep. If we gave her a letter of intent to hire, it would be meaningless as it was not recognized by our Board. Either the Board hires you or they don’t, there is no middle ground. I told her that I wanted to hire her after her first long-term substitute job, but that we did not have any openings for her certification. I do not encourage an environment of firing one person for another. It does not bode well for the culture of the workplace.

Every day is an interview, this is why the candidate works for us and why the candidate chose us. I am glad that we both passed the interview.

Everyone tells me that first impressions are the most important thing in an interview. They are important and they set the tone, but what about after the interview? What then? Does a person’s career ride solely on the first impressions that they make? First Impressions might get you in the door, but in my world, the impressions that you make every day keeps you employed.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a big fan of first impressions. It is important to me that people comport themselves in a manner that makes me want to spend my time with them. First impressions set the mood for the interview. If I get a bad first impression, it is hard for me to overlook it and thus, it will affect the interview. Bad impressions leave me wondering what the problem is. Is it me? Is it them? Do they really want the job? Am I wasting my time?

When I meet people for the first time, I want the impression that I make to set the tone. I want the first impression that I make to be based on a firm handshake, a confident voice, the fact that I look people in the eye when I both speak and listen, that I am calm and relaxed, and that I am fit. This is how I act every day. They can find out the rest later.

First impressions come and go. When I look at my best staff members, I cannot remember the first impressions that they made. I have no recollection. They must have done something right if I hired them. Regardless, I do remember what they have done recently, especially with regards to their students, our school, their colleagues, and the community. The most recent impressions that they have made on me make them the valued employees that they are.

To me, the most recent impressions that you have made are the ones that count the most. I will remember your latest accomplishments more than I will remember what you did the first time that I met you. Don’t rely on your previous accomplishments. It is important to build on them and create new impressions that will help those around you form an image about who you are today, not who you were yesterday.

Every Day is an Interview

PS – Remember that the first impression that you will make on me is the one that you make on my secretary,  Not only will she call you to set up the interview but she will meet you at the door and direct you to the interview. Don’t mess it up.

Each year, at the beginning of November, we have our windows and foyer lights cleaned by an outside company. Though we try to do most of the work on our house by ourselves, there are some jobs better left to professionals. We hire All-County Windows each year. The team that they send out is always professional, skillful, personable, and polite. We are even looking to expand their role next year and have them power wash our house on an annual basis. I tried to do the job, but I cannot get high enough to power wash the second floor. Anything involving heights, a ladder, and my coordination is best left to the professionals. Because of my efforts to do the job myself, there is a clear line between the clean part of the house and the “needs-to-be cleaned” part of the house. It bothers me, which means that it really bothers my wife.

This morning, All-County Windows came to our house. As usual, they did a spectacular job. When the team leader was preparing the bill, one of his colleagues asked if he could wash the front storm door. He was concerned that they might have left a smudge while entering and exiting the house, but he did not want to touch any part of our house without our permission.

Of course, I said yes. I was willing to, and I expected to, pay for the extra job. However, when I received the bill, it was exactly what we agreed when we originally scheduled the job. I asked if they wanted to charge me for the door. The team leader replied that it was a courtesy that they did to make sure that everything was perfect before they left. This is why All-County gets my money each year and why they are going to get more of our money next year. They are the company with the workers that we want to associate with, the type of people that make us better. All-County Windows and their team passed the interview.

These days, the stress level has been high at work. I just ended a rigorous two-month workflow and a new one has just started. Though not as rigorous, the end results of this time period will have a large influence on our future successes. Where the last workflow required that I get a lot of tasks done in a short period of time, this one requires a lot of thinking, analyzing, and long-term planning.

One of my staff members came by my office this morning and asked if they could schedule some time with me. I told them to come in, however, my tone was short and it was obvious that my head was in a different place. When they recognized that I was stressed about being busy, he offered to come back at a later time. I encouraged him to stay. Again, my tone was short. I was clearly letting my staff member know that I had “more important” things to do. I was failing the interview.

The way that I acted was not aligned with who I want to be.

The way that I acted was not aligned with my purpose.

The way that I acted is the reason why I failed the interview.

There was no alignment between who I want to be (purpose) and my actions

Fortunately, the staff member stayed and we had a productive discussion. Shortly into our meeting, I realized that my original actions were wrong. I changed my attitude and started to listen with patience and understanding. It drives me nuts when I act as if I am too busy and I cannot be interrupted. Nothing I have ever done at work has been so important that I cannot be interrupted. However, I assign self-importance to my role and I act as if I am the most important person at work.

I am sure that my staff member noticed my original actions. I feel bad for letting the stress get to me. I really feel bad that I acted as if I was the most important person in the room.

However, I do feel glad that I recognized my mistakes. I will make continue to make corrections so that next time I will recognize that I feel stressed and I will act according to my purpose as opposed to my stress level. If I am to be an effective leader, I have to make sure that I act as if others are the most important person in the room. This is the only way to pass the interview.

Giving up control and delegating work to others is one of the hardest things for me to do is to in all areas of my life. I am always concerned that the tasks will not be done as they should. When I am good at delegating, I can clearly communicate my expectations for the project. When I feel good about my communication, I can walk away and not have to micromanage the project. If I have done a good job of selecting my colleagues communicating with them, the project should turn out exactly as I expect, if not better.

This is easier to do at work than it is at home. What my children need is freedom, not control. I struggle with this on a daily basis. When I take a hands-off approach with my sons, I feel that I am being a bad father. I feel that I am not providing them with the guidance that they need to keep them away from the same pitfalls that I fell for when I was there age. Thankfully, they are doing better than I did at their age. When I try to apply more control to what they are doing, it is usually a miserable failure. My kids are good at what they do only when they decide that they want to, not when I decide that they want to.

I struggle with letting them take the time they need to determine if they want to do something. As an example, for years, I was in terrible shape in my 30s and early 40s, even though a portion of my salary depended on getting others, mainly teenagers, into great shape. I try to do the same with my children, getting them into great shape, not realizing that when I was their age, my parents gave me the space to figure things out. There were plenty of times that my parents thought that I took too much time to figure things out. Yet, they were patient, waited for me to make a decision, and then provided me with the guidance needed to be successful. In order for me to do this with my sons, I have to willing to give up control.

Control is a double-edged sword. You want to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. You have to be willing to relinquish control at work by delegating tasks to others. Delegating only succeeds if you have great communication skills and you have selected the right people for the job. You have to relinquish control with those who you are helping to grow, i.e. your children. You have to let them steer the ship, lead by living a good life, provide them with guidance after they have made their own decision, and then hope that they make the right decisions. Easier said than done, but those that can get it done will lead others to success.